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Many have given their thoughts about the human psyche, here's yet another of my attempts at understanding it.
There are three layers to the mind. The Simple, Complex, and the Mask. The Simple lets us enjoy things in the world around us. It lets us have fun in the presence of friends, savor the taste of hot coffee(if you like coffee that is), laugh at jokes, cry at sadness, feel rage and hatred. It is what drives us through our reactions. The Complex is, as its name states, much more complex. It is what makes us wonder at the world around us. Is this truly the right thing to do? How could he do something like that? What is the true meaning of love? This is the Complex, it is what makes us truly think. Everyone has these layers, though not always in the same proportions. The final layer is the Mask. It is what we show to people. It is a mix of the Simple, and the Complex. Everyone's Mask is different. Some choose to fill their Mask with the Simple, allowing themselves to enjoy life it its fullest. Others choose to only have the Complex in their Mask, always thinking about things above, beyond, and in them. Most have somewhere in between, able to look at the world and see its joy, while still being able to ponder at its complexities. These are the three layers, the Simple, Complex, and the Mask.
Pull the plug « Result #9 on May 29, 2009, 4:19am »
I am dead, but my heart still beats. My lungs still breath, but I am not alive. I am suspended in a world of near death, were I can see what awaits me, and what I will leave behind. I try to open my eyes, but they wont. I want to see, to live. But my body wont let me. I cannot see, or hear, or speak, or live, but I am alive. I am aware. I cannot see them, but I know that people are around me. Some are my loved ones. Some are merely here to treat me. I strain all of my senses, trying to contact those that spend hours with the living corpse. I put everything I have into trying to break free of Death's hold, but he holds firm. I lay and spend every hour of the day trying to break free. Death is toying with me. He will not take me, but he wont let me live either. I've spent what feels like eons struggling, and can finally extend my sense of hearing to know what is going on around me. "-in a coma. We've done everything that we can, but we don't know if they'll make it," a strange voice says. I hear crying. The sound of sobbing is someone I know. I want to sit up, good as new, hug them, comfort them. But Death wont let me. Time passes. I do not know how to measure it. "It's been nine months, this is as good as it is going to get." Another voice I know. It is talking to the owner of the sobs. Has it really been nine months? It has felt like much longer. I am ready to die, I have admitted defeat. Death has been looking over my shoulder. I am ready to die, but my body wont let me, something is keeping me alive. I strain will all my might, and crack open my eyes. The light burns after its absence. I can see the machines, they loom over me. Beeps, clicks, more beeps. They tell people what is going on with me. I could tell them that. I am dead. "Maybe we should let him go. He never did like it when people were kept alive like this." I look over at the voice. I cannot make out its owner, my eyes are still too weak. "But you heard the doctor, he's been showing so many signs of recovery. He could pull through." Why don't they understand? I'm not going to make it. I'm already dead. A moan escapes my lips. Everyone rushes to my side, crowding around, taking up all of the air. Voices clamor, people cheer. "He's alive! He's alive!" No I'm not. I exist, but I am not alive. I make eye contact with someone. With the last of my strength, I nod my head. They nod back. They understand. Pull the plug. I'm coming Death. You've won. Pull the plug.
There are many theories about what happens after you die. Some think that nothing happens, you're dead, nothing else. Some think you go to either heaven or hell. Some think you're reincarnated into another body. For now, I'm just going to deal with heaven and hell. The standard requirements to go to either heaven or hell, is wither you are good or bad. But who is it that decides what makes you good or bad? Is it God? Is it the pope, his man on earth? Or is something else inertly? To be good, do you have to follow what the disciples of God say to the word? Or just have the right intentions? Do you have to do good whenever you have the chance? Do you even have to believe in God? Let's face it, in just about every religion, those who don't believe go to hell, so do we all go? Is one religion right, and those that believe any other doom to d**nation? Can a good nonbeliever get into heaven? Does an evil but religious man got to hell? There are many aspects to the afterlife, if there is one. Many have claimed to see the other side before being revived. What did they see? Is it what the church tells us it's going to be like? Once again, do nonbelievers see anything? How do we know that what people saw was really the other side, and not just what their minds think it's going to be like? For another thing, what about how we see the agents of good and evil? Why are God and his angels so similar to man? They say that man is made in the image of God, but what if it's the other way around? Did we just put our shape over something that has no shape to make it easier to comprehend? Are these thoughts heresy? Am I doomed for just questioning what the church says? If all Christians follow God and Jesus, why are their so many different divisions of the church?
There is so much to think about, and only one life to think it. Am I wasting my time with these thoughts? Should I spend my time out in the world doing whatever I think is the right path and just find out when the time comes?
There are so many things that trouble my mind. This is one of them. They say that is common for one who had a near death experience to question their mortality. But what does it mean when you don't, but still find yourself doing it?
Knowledge and Ignorence « Result #11 on May 29, 2009, 4:17am »
There's two old saying which I refer to as the Twin Sayings. Knowledge is power, and ignorence is bliss. The meanings are obvious. With knowledge you gain strength. You know your enemy's weakness. You know you what your forefathers did wrong, and how not to make the same mistake again. With ignorance, you have nothing to worry about. If you don't know that there is something to fear, you wont fear it. I've found myself sitting in history/current events classes, reading about the many wrongs that have been committed. Always I say to myself that if I was in that situation, I would do better. I would not kill these innocent people. I would be a better leader. I know better than those before me. But as I sit and think these thoughts, I am constantly brought back to the most dreadful thoughts of all. Would I do better? Or would I do exactly the same. If I was living in a third world country, and had a gun but no food, would I kill someone for their food to survive? Would I become the thing that I despise? Would I do better. The thought haunts me. I cannot escape it. I am also haunted by another thought. Why am I not doing anything about these acts of unprovoked violence? I watch videos of things that I can barely watch for how bad they are. My heart cries out in sympathy to those in the videos. But I am haunted by the thought that I am sitting here, in relative luxury, while there are thousands out there who would give all they have for a simple meal. I am haunted by still another thought. If I was there, where all of these things were happening, would I do anything to stop it? Would I risk my life for people that I don't know and have never met before? Or would I sit back and watch while people are dieing before my eyes with the knowledge that I'll survive? I think all of these things, and I don't know what to do. I am torn up on the inside. Fighting between my rational side, that says I should do everything possible to stay alive, and my emotional side, that wants to give up everything I have to help these people. I sit and think through all these thoughts, my mind bombarded and in turmoil. Knowledge is power. But every ounce of power comes with a price. Sometimes the price is just time lost that could have been spent on something else. And sometimes, the price is your innocence. This is the price that I've paid. I can no longer look out at the world with the same eyes that I have before. Where I once saw peace through out the world as a possibility that our leaders have just been too stupid to take, I now know that death and war will continue. Knowledge is power, and ignorance is bliss. Sometimes I wonder if it would have been better to remain ignorant.
Gates of death « Result #12 on May 29, 2009, 4:16am »
I stand at the gate the separates life from death, staring the reaper in the face, not willing to accept my fate. He stares back at me, his eyeless sockets meeting with my eyes. We stand there for unknown ages, one living, one not. Then I realize why I'm not dead yet. He doesn't want to do it. The reaper of souls wishes he had any other job but this. In a cruel twist of fate, the one who had the biggest heart was given the scythe of death. I stare at him, not sure what to make of this strange thought that I instantly know to be true. He doesn't want to be here. He doesn't want to kill me, or any of the others that he has over the years. But he knows he has to. He faces it with more courage then anyone could possibly have. I envy his courage, but not his job. I want to help take some of the burden off of him. I know that I must die, and that he will be the one to kill me. I smile at him, accepting my fate the way he has his own. "I'm ready," I say. He nods, and raises his scythe.
Looking around « Result #13 on May 29, 2009, 4:13am »
I look backwards, and I see all that has come before me. I see the great triumphs of mankind. I also see every mistake that has been made. I see that the mistakes are made again and again. I turn and look forward, and imagine what may come. I see a world were there are no problems. There is joy, happiness, and laughter. Those that are sick are made well. Those that are well don't become sick. Those that are hurt are healed. Those that are whole never become broken. I see a world were man has learned from its mistakes, and doesn't repeat them. I turn and look to my side, and see what is. I see that man hasn't learned from its mistakes. I see that everything that has come before is still here. I see that man doesn't miss its own mistakes, but thinks the mistakes are triumphs, and tries to outdo itself. I see war. I see famine. I see grief. I see plagues, hatred, and death. I see man. I do not wish to see this, and turn away. I look forward again. I no longer see a grand future, but more of the present. I still see war, famine, grief, diseases, hatred, and death. I see that man will not change. I see that mankind cannot be whole. I close my eyes, no longer wishing to look. I wish I was blind so that I would no longer be troubled by these sights. I open my eyes. I can still see. I can still see these sights that trouble me so. I can still see what I know will come to pass, but not wish so. I close my eyes again, but the sights flood my mind, echoing throughout me. I know what I do not wish. I know that man will not get better, but is plagued by an incurable disease. The disease that is incurable is known very well to man, for it is itself.
Past light speed « Result #14 on May 29, 2009, 4:12am »
Okay, given, everything we see is caused by light bouncing off of objects, and into our eyes. Every color and shape is caused by light. Now, as far as we know, there is nothing that travels faster than light. But if something did, would we even be able to see it? If it is moving faster than light, would it reflect any light at all? And if they don't reflect light, there might be invisible things traveling around me as I type this and as you read this.
Shoulder men « Result #15 on May 29, 2009, 4:11am »
Some say that there is an angel and a devil guiding us. One is the incarnation of good, the other is the incarnation of evil. I don't see those two. I see a brave man, and a weak man. One wants me to be strong, courageous, and help everyone else. The other knows that I am weak, scared, and will save myself before other. They both whisper to me, telling me what I should do. I try to listen to both. I try to learn how I can be what they both want. I try to learn how I can be brave and and not foolhardy. How I can be strong and know my limits. How I can help others, and still help myself.
One day I may know how to do that. One day, I may no longer need the brave man and the weak man. One day, they may leave me, knowing that I am what I need to be. Until that day, I will listen and learn.
Alternate Realities « Result #16 on May 29, 2009, 4:11am »
Alternate realities, what exactly are they? Some doubt the very existence of other realities, but it's a thought that I cannot shrug off. While most people classify them as either realities where everything is reworked, or ones that are simular to ours, but were key events turned out differently. I think of them as much more complex. In my point of view, alternate realities is a way for the universe to explore every conceivable option, new realities being created whenever someone makes a choice. An example would this. You are driving somewhere, and you come to a fork in the road. Either way will get you where you are going in about the same amount of time. As you are faced with the decision and execute your choice, an alternate reality is formed where you take the other option(s). And this 'splitting' of realities is happening every nanosecond, all the time, everywhere, with everyone. These 'splittings' will continue after your death, in any of the splittings. So, by this logic, I, and everyone else alive today, have died more then once in alternate realities where the choices we made did not result in our survival.
I admit, this is a very strange thought, and I'm sure that some people will not agree with me. But, this is just how I see things.
What is pain? Scientifically, it is the pain receptors under our skin being triggered by large amounts of pressure, force, heat, or the lack of heat. But what about emotional pain? Are there pain receptors in our souls? When a person breaks their leg, they are given medicine that blocks out the pain, and others that speed the healing. Afterwards there might only be a scar left, if any sign that anything happened. But what about when a person loses someone that they love and care about? Is their a medicine that they can give for a wounded heart or soul? Their is. It is not an over the counter medicine, and you can't get it from a doctor. It is called love, and you can get it from anyone. Yet, even with the proper dose of this medicine, an emotional wound may never heal. Emotional wounds always take longer then psychical ones. Sometimes a wounded heart may never heal, or will still be scarred years later. So, who can truly say what pain is? Is it pain receptors going off? Or is it whenever you hurt in any sort of way?
As long as a man has something to fight for, something to protect, he will fight for it. If a man has lost everything he holds dear to him, has nothing to fight for, he is broken. And a broken man is not a man, but a shell.
Nothing to lose « Result #19 on May 29, 2009, 4:09am »
There is nothing more dangerous than a man who has nothing to lose. For when he has something to he cares about, he will hold back and not take unnecessary risks so that he may return to that which he cares for. Without that to hold him back, he will fight harder, and fiercer, willing to do whatever it takes to win. Never thinking of the consequence.
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